Wow- so this is my first ever blog post! I’ve been thinking about starting one for ages, but I have found it really challenging to sit down and make it happen. There is so much here that I hope, eventually to cover, but I want to kick it off with my most recent experience of attending a Mutterkur.
What is a Mutterkur?
Now, this might be a totally unfamiliar thing for some of you, it certainly was for me until I heard about it, but it’s basically a three-week break from your day-to-day life, with the goal of rejuvenating and energizing, exhausted parents. Overwhelmed parents and caregivers are entitled by German Law (Sozialgesetzbuch) to do a Kur every four years until their youngest child reaches 18 (or even more often when there are medical indications) and the whole journey starts with a visit to your primary care doc (Hausartzt). I did a Mutterkur (Mothers only) but there are lots of types of Kur options, including Mutter-Kindkur (Mother with Child/Children), Vater Kur (Dad’s only) and Familienkur (the whole family). This post isn’t meant to be a “how to” guide to applying for a Kur, there are lots of websites dedicated to that, but rather a reflection of my own process and experience, as a way to make the process familiar and maybe get you thinking about if it’s something that could be a fit for you too.
How and why did I do a Kur?
My last few years have been a pretty intense time, starting with a missed miscarriage in 2019, the death of my mom and father-in-law in 2020 and my own high-risk pregnancy and hospitalization in 2021. Going through all of that in a short couple of years would be enough to give most folks burn out, but doing it while raising a toddler, in a foreign country as an entrepreneur, and let’s just say, I was pooped. It was after the birth of Oli (my 2nd son) that the idea of doing a Kur was brought to my attention. I’d known a couple of German friends who had done a MutterKind Kur in previous years, and they had mixed experiences. Good enough to do it again, but not exactly “relaxing” as they were still largely in Mom Modus but now parenting their toddlers in an unfamiliar environment. To me, this sounded stressful, especially as I would be challenging myself already, as the entire experience is offered in German. That’s when I learned about the option of doing a mother only Kur (Mutterkur) and started to explore that as a possibility. It sounded like a crazy idea- to be away from my family for THREE WHOLE WEEKS but after a while, it sounded more and more like something we could manage. I figured, I would go through the process and apply, and if I decided not to go, then no harm was done. But as these things take time, it was worth getting the paperwork in to see what happens.
To get started I spoke to my friend who recommended a Beratung service (referral) near Konstablerwache who would go over my criteria with me and walk me through the paperwork. In February 2023 I went in to meet with someone there who heard a bit about my history and said I would be a good candidate. She explained to me that there was a form that I would need to get from my Hausartzt and that it would need to be filled out. That should have been my next appointment. But…I just wasn’t really sure if I could really go through with this…3 weeks is a long time away, and my older son was starting school in the fall of 2023…I needed a bit more time to think things through. So, I waited and went again to see her in Oct 2023, where she reminded me of the next steps and let me know what the timeline for a placement was looking like at that point. Then I finally made my appointment with my Hausartzt to get the process rolling. I simply went into my doctor and explained to her that I was interested in doing a Kur for the above stated reasons, which basically added up to “Erschopfung” and could she please fill out the paperwork. A week later that was finished, and I went back to my contact at Diakonie and showed it to her. She made a few suggestions regarding the wording used in the application and then I had to go back to my Hausartzt to make the suggested adjustments. The whole thing was pretty straightforward, but naturally, the wait times between appointments added up. All said and done, from my Beratung meeting in October 2023 until my paperwork was complete and submitted to my insurance, was probably about 6 weeks. My insurance provider (TK) was actually pretty quick, and I was approved in a couple of weeks.
During our consultation appointments, I was also given the information about which centers in Germany offer Mutterkur and what the timeline was for getting a spot. She gave me a list to research after my 1st appointment and so by the time all my paperwork was finished, I had an idea of where I might want to go for my Kur. Unfortunately, if you’re interested in doing a Mutterkur without kiddos, there are only a handful of clinics to choose from, all of them 5+ hours away from Frankfurt. For Mutterkind Kur there are a lot more options, but also long waits depending on where you want to go. In the end, what was most important to me was the time of year that I went, more than the specific location. There happened to be one clinic available for a May 2024 visit and she was able to put me on the waitlist there so that I would get a spot, when my insurance company reviewed and accepted my application. This is the clinic that I ultimately ended up going to, and it was a great choice. From my initial meeting until I was actually leaving for my Kur was 6 months. Which was just the right amount of time for me to get my head around what I had signed up to do!
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